Jayne Peters' life was a house of cards.
When I heard that the mayor of Coppell, Jayne Peters, had killed her 19 year-old daughter, Corinne, and then turned the gun on herself, this tragedy struck close to home. First, Coppell is literally close to me – I live about 20 miles away in Dallas, Texas. Second, I realized that this murder-suicide was entirely preventable up to the last minute before Jayne shot her child.
Although we can never know for sure what was in the mayor’s mind, we do know what kind of stress she was under. In 2007, her husband Don was diagnosed with colon cancer. Despite aggressive treatment, he passed away less than a year later.
According to Jayne’s pastor, the family had very little money left after Don’s death. Jayne’s contract job was part-time, and the mayor position is unpaid. Not surprisingly, the family house was almost foreclosed on three times in the past 12 months.
Many articles about this tragedy have attempted to explain it or levy blame. I wanted to do something more useful, and focus on extracting life lessons from it. I can’t think of a better way to react to a tragedy than to try and prevent another similar one. In this vein, here are my 6 lessons:
1. Review your insurance - Cancer treatment is extremely expensive. To avoid a huge debt for yourself or your family, check what kind of coverage you have. Are there major exclusions or high deductibles on your medical plan? Is there a low lifetime cap on coverage which could leave you without any health insurance? If you are the primary earner in your family, is your life insurance sufficient to support your loved ones if you die? If you didn’t like the answers to these questions, you should purchase additional insurance or make other financial plans.
2. Bankruptcy is not a sin – Even if you do all the “right things,” you may end up unable to pay your debts. Most bankruptcies occur due to death, divorce, serious illness, or a combination of these factors, not overspending. Nevertheless, there is a huge stigma to bankruptcy and most people never admit it publicly.
Perhaps this is why Jayne did not choose this option despite her precarious financial situation. Instead, she kept up appearances, going so far as to rent a car for her daughter as a graduation “gift,” and charging household expenses to her mayoral credit card. While it would have been painful, bankruptcy could have improved Jayne’s budget and relieved a lot of financial stress.
3. Brainstorm worst case scenarios – When a loved one is sick or a job is suddenly lost, your emotions make it difficult to think clearly. The best time to plan for disaster is when everything is stable. I applaud all my readers who have made a will, and you get extra points for an “advance health care directive.”
However, this tragedy shows me that standard planning is not enough. I think families need an “advance financial directive,” or a plan for how to cope with expenses in various scenarios. While it’s not fun to imagine family catastrophes, it’s better to write down what assets you could sell or whose parents you could move in with now when you’re calm. Otherwise, stress or grief could spur you to unwise decisions.
4. Ask for help and accept help - It’s true that the mayor asked for financial help from her church. However, this assistance only allowed Jayne to keep up the facade a little longer; it didn’t fix the structural problems.
In addition, her emotional needs were not met, as Jayne’s suicide note indicates she was “lost, alone, and afraid.” How sad is it that a woman with so many acquaintances felt she had no one to turn to? I wonder how many people asked if they could help her, and Jayne politely declined the offer. Maybe if she had some support, even from caring professionals, the mayor might have made a different decision.
5. If it can’t be held together, let it fall apart - With the death of her husband, no one expected Jayne’s life to continue unchanged. Yet she attempted to keep the status quo at her job and home. She was even elected as mayor in May 2009, and spent many hours per week on a demanding but unpaid position. In addition to lying to her daughter that the rented car was a gift, Jayne apparently told Corinne she was accepted to the University of Texas, although the school has no record of her application. At any point, the mayor could have leveled with her child about the family finances, or resigned from her position and tried to earn more money. While this may have been embarrassing, it needed to be done.
6. It’s never too late to change course – I am reminded of a friend who struggled for decades with drug addiction. This cost him relationships, jobs, houses, and millions of dollars over the years. Even with his current setbacks, he’s not going back to drugs at age 57. He knows that giving into addiction will only cause more problems, and he’s aware that he can’t change the past, only the future.
In a similar fashion, Jayne had the opportunity to make a smart, responsible choice up to the point where she killed her daughter. Sure, Corinne would have been angry when her mother admitted the years of deception. Yes, the neighbors would have gossiped if Jayne resigned or lost the house. It’s possible she would have been prosecuted for misusing the town’s credit card, although I think this is unlikely. Nevertheless, a diminished standard of living or even jail time is better than death.
Is there a lesson I’ve missed? Do you disagree with these points? What have you done to prepare for life’s tragedies?
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I know the worst is yet to come. I cant think on what came to their mind that a suicide can solve problems. Life is so precious. Living in these tough times is really hard, I know. One thing that can help us, is to swallow our pride. Think that its not just you who are affected, everyone is striving to survive. Accepting help doesn’t mean your a lesser person. It only mean that your brave enough to face every circumstance. I think everyone needs to read this and learn from it. Suicide doesn’t help at all. It helps if you open up your situation to family and friends. Open you mind to any possible solution. There is always hope.
Actually this is not the first time I have heard over the news about people committing suicide. What a tragedy, wasted your life for nothing. Jennifer thanks for posting this, times like these I think people need to open up their eyes and see that life is still worth living even just with nothing. Am still stricken by these news till now….why, why, why, why…..questions only Jayne could answer.
We had a similar thing happen in our city about 10 years ago. Our Mayor left the office to work as a contractor for some developers. After a couple of years, his contract wasn’t renewed and he lost his income. He ended up shooting himslef in his back yard. Thankfully, he didn’t take anyone with him. But, his poor wife was devastated.
I think the higher profile your life is, the harder financial problems become. It must be so hard to look your neighbors in the eye, when you used to be their Mayor and now your house is in foreclosure. It makes me think of how lucky I have been over the years to have made a steady income.
@Katherine: Thanks for your thoughtful comments! I agree with you that there must have been someone in Jayne’s life who was willing to help, even if only to listen sympathetically. I know she had a sister and a brother, because she asked them to take care of her pets in the suicide note. I guess she had too much pride to ask for help as you say, or maybe she just couldn’t face being poor. That still doesn’t explain why she killed her daughter, though.
@Bret: I’m sorry to hear that. One of the high risk times for suicide for middle aged men is after a job loss.
It seems likely that Jayne felt she could not face her neighbors after losing her big house and being unable to pay for her daughter’s college education. My Spanish tutor (born in Mexico) said to me that he doesn’t understand why Americans link social status and income so tightly, so that if you have a financial setback people lose respect for you. He says that in Mexico, some poor people like professors have high status, while rich drug dealers are not respected at all. I think this is an excellent point, and I wish Jayne had realized that losing the house didn’t negate every accomplishment in her life.
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While we’re on the topic of 6 Life Lessons from a Murder-Suicide | Live Richly, You have the option of paying the premiums directly to the insurance company or through the agent. If you choose to pay through the agent, you must ensure that the cheque is written in the name of the insurance company. You must also ensure that you receive the receipt from the insurance company.
Since we are discussing 6 Life Lessons from a Murder-Suicide | Live Richly, Since buying a life insurance policy is a long-term commitment, it is not advisable to terminate your policy early as you will not receive the total amount of premium that you have paid because the surrender value is usually less than what you have paid.
Welcome LIP and thanks for the tips on life insurance! Are you saying that if you pay the agent directly you may not actually have insurance when you need it (fraud)? I agree that you should cash in your life insurance when it makes financial sense, but in this case, Jayne’s husband had terminal cancer and they needed the money for medical bills.
I really don’t know if it will eventually aid clear it up faster, but I can inform you that right after you use a credit debt mgmt. business that while in the future collectors will search at it like a settlement and that it reflects on the compliment standings as harmful as a bankruptcy. I have also been informed that a balance mgmt. corporation are not able to do nearly anything that you just cannot do on your own as far as contacting your credit card companies and settling debts.
Welcome Cecily! It’s true that you can do all the things a debt management company can, and that it can hurt your credit rating just to talk to one. What’s even sadder is that many of these companies just scam people out of money. I talk about this more here: http://liverichly.com/7-debt-survival-tips/
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You could add to this otherwise excellent list, to have a valid last will and testament.
Of course in a murder suicide, sometimes, the facts may prevent a will from taking effect– if the murderer (or his estate) would be enriched by the crime, then, there is an old common law doctrine called the “Slayer’s Rule” that can impose a constructive trust on proceeds coming to a murderer. The usual scenario involves insurance, but it can apply to jointly owned property and wills, too.
I dont know if that would have anything to do with your particular example to open this, but, it does crop up from time to time.
Welcome to the blog, Tim! That’s a great point, I can’t believe I forgot to mention a will. That’s very interesting about the “Slayer’s Rule.” I didn’t know that but it makes sense that a murderer shouldn’t profit from the crime.
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